Can Both Be True?
Autumn offers us an opportunity to ask ourselves how we might meet such moments of ephemeral beauty without clinging to them, how we might release our desire for life to be consistent – especially consistently inspiring or easy or enjoyable. Those ideas mean something different to each of us. How do we let our hearts open wide enough to let in all experience - highs and lows - without gripping at what we like or avoiding and pushing away what we don’t?
More simply put: Autumn asks us: What is our relationship to change? And how can we support ourselves through times of transition with gentleness, honesty, and maybe some humor?
The challenge of the moment is usually never about figuring out which is right or better, rather, it’s opening the mind and heart to the possibility of both. The contents within a moment of struggle, no matter how incongruent and opposing it seems, can be mutually inclusive. What if it’s this and that? What if both are true? How can I make space for all of it?
As an example, we look out into a world full of war, violence, and unfathomable injustice, and we don’t understand it. We want to believe that we are not a part of that, that somehow we are separate from the horrors of the world, and are in no way responsible. And yet, as seekers and students of truth, love and kindness, we must recognize that all we see out there, also lives within us. Both are true. It's our job not only to acknowledge it, but make room for it in a productive way.
Real spirituality is doing the work, choosing to excavate where hatred and war are hiding inside - and in my experience it never goes as quickly or smoothly as we hope for. Along the way we can take ourselves too seriously or we can laugh and tease ourselves as a way of encouragement. We are all most certainly a part of the problem, but more importantly, we are part of the solution as well. For as much as we must speak out and take action when we see hatred and injustice around us, we must also recognize where we ourselves are, knowingly or unknowingly, participants.
As much as we want to dive into the places of beauty and ease, can we have an equal amount of dedication and active participation toward the places we most wish to avoid? Where are you resistant? What are you pushing away and why? Just like a piece of steel is forged by the fire, to do the work is to shine brightly and become strong.
"It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight."
- Sherrilyn Kenyon, Devil May Cry
And in order to do so, we must hold ourselves to the fire, to embody and live out the wisdom held in ancient teachings.
With the busy holiday season approaching, we can give ourselves even more excuses to be disconnected or have unrealistic expectations. Here are a few tips that have helped me along the way.
Discipline
Whether it's 20 minutes or 3 hours, every single day carve out time to be with yourself, in your body, with your breath, and with the source of all that is. It is that time to remember, and to set intentions for your day, before the business of life says something else. Without discipline, things can begin to unravel rather quickly.
Presence
Stay connected to the all-that-is-ness around you. Guidance, Love, Connection, Support and Abundance are here. They are here all the time, in every situation, even in the darkest and most hidden corners of our minds and hearts. Take time to settle in to that Force and Presence and attune yourself to it. The other type of crucial presence is the moment to moment kind, to truly BE with each person we encounter. Can we connect with and hold space for each person we meet, and bring true presence that is, at once, full of compassion and empty of judgement?
Acceptance Without Resignation
I don't love the word surrender, which is why I didn't use it here. For me, surrender suggests that we are no longer actively participating in our own freedom and cultivation, and therefore have relinquished responsibility for what happens next. I like to approach this idea with more of an acceptance, a letting go, a recognition of the direction of the current life is taking me, without falling into hopelessness because I don't like it, trying to change the direction of the current, giving up or desperately grasping for the shoreline; simply said, can we instead float and paddle gently in the direction of the flowing river. It's not easy. Sometimes it's like turning a cargo ship. But even in the trying we can position ourselves in a way that meets life, so life can work for us and not against us.
How will you use your time, energy, money, words and work today? Will it be to feed the flame of hatred or to create positive change in your mind, in your life, in your world?
How will you let your heart open wide enough to let in all experience - highs and lows - without grasping or pushing away? I believe in you, and I believe in me. We can do it together.
Love for the journey,
Anisha