It may be that
When we no longer
Know what to do
We have come to our real work.
And when we no
Which way to go
We have begun our real journey.
Yesterday, one of my clients was telling me about her time as a neonatal nurse and how she would communicate with the babies, soul to soul. She would whisper to them with such warmth and sweetness “you are ok, you’re not alone, I’m right here, you are ok.” My eyes swelled with tears. Her words touched a wound deep in my heart. I looked at her and said, “I wish someone would say that to me now, I would love to hear that now as an adult.” She responded with such richness of spirit “I can do that, I will tell you right now.....you are ok, you are not alone, I’m right here.” Tears now streamed, in gratitude, her words a balm over my heart. I feel lucky to have such a community. Even in some of my darkest, saddest moments, it’s enough to know there are others who get it and we all share in this human experience together. We hold each other, we lift each other up, we cry with each other and we laugh with each other.
The truth of our lives, lives in the mud and mess of this moment. It exists in the convoluted and complex interplay of emotion and relationship and in some of the personality traits I’d like to forever leave behind. To experience the truth of our own hearts, it often requires being in the muck and the mire of what’s here, the anxiety, the fear, the sadness, and yet also knowing the entirety of me without hiding from the shadows or from the light. To know and understand my shortcomings is my work but also not to underestimate my gifts and influence. Each time I can see myself clearly, outside of the emotion of the moment, or several moments, it offers an opportunity to expand the lens through which I see myself, my family, and the world.
Even if we can't see what's next, or how we will get there, it doesn't mean the answer isn't there. Sometimes it's ok just to not know. It's ok to sit in that familiar yet uncomfortable place of being lost. As limited as we may feel in a moment, the truth is that the infinite exists in everything, in all of creation. Just that knowing can open the door to possibilities; possibilities that are as infinite as you and me and the Universe.
"The lotus never blooms without sinking roots deep in mud.”
Love for the journey,