With the series of recent events our country and people have faced, including politics, riots and a general division among the people, I've been asking myself a very fundamental question.
How do we create change without opposition? Another way to ask this question on a more personal level is: how do we create an environment with others where we can disagree and still respect each other?
In some ways, conflict is needed in order to make progress in many situations. However, perhaps there are ways to ease that process. And I think that process starts with us as individuals and trickles out into our global community. My beloved teacher, Master Ou Wen Wei, often talks about creating a warm and friendly environment for others. This allows people to feel comfortable and safe and therefore more likely to have an open mind and accept a particular view point, responding in a positive way. Deep down we all want to feel loved and cared for and we want to feel that our lives and opinionshave value. Without that value, life can sometimes lose meaning and purpose. So, in a sense, by offering our love and warmth, we help others create meaning and bring forth their kind and loving nature. In turn, it also gives us value and brings out our
own loving selves. I believe that some part of every person has a desire to do good and be good and change the world for the better, even if their approach is not one we agree with. For some, their good intentions are much more obvious. In others, it's sometimes harder to see on the surface but I believe it's still there.
So my next question is, in a given moment why do I need others to agree with me? Why do I have to be right? How do I justify arguing with someone? And is it worth losing the love and harmony between us? I am talking about the world at large and how interactions and decisions occur, but it starts in our microcosms in our homes and communities: dinner conversations with family members, how we speak with or treat a stranger on the street, a difference in how we do a simple household task, our reaction to a coworker's strong opinion or negativity.
What if I could genuinely disagree with someone and be ok with it, maybe even content with it? What if I could maintain a friendly and optimistic environment while offering an alternative approach or idea? In addition, what if I could add something positive to the conversation and keep the love and happiness alive? Imagine how peaceful life could be!! Perhaps these are the gifts we should be giving each other this holiday season, the gifts of our own inner cultivation. I can't think of anything more rewarding and more likely to create lasting happiness.
May the New Year increase our longing for benevolence in the world and may our actions truly follow!
Happy New Year Everyone!
With Peace,
Anisha
November 2016 | Navigating Our Two Sides
Greetings from my new home! Moving and uprooting my life definitely challenges me in the most unusual and unsettling way. I found I am not as prepared for it as much as I'd hoped.
Being in the mountains during Fall is quite a gift. I look around and see the bursting of colors, the richness of culture and the warmth and joy of the people here in Blue Ridge haven. It's more than just another place to live, it's a state of mind, an opportunity to create, a chance to explore both inside and out.
However, I think we all know that we can feel these wonderful emotions of extreme appreciation, passion, joy and enthusiasm, and simultaneously feel lonely, confused, overwhelmed, afraid and sad all in a given day...a given moment. And it isn't wrong, it just is. There are always two sides of us battling it out. The way out of the emotional hamster wheel for me is to decipher which voice, which side of me I want to keep listening to. When I can stop a feeling of persistent worry about something trivial, I start to ask the bigger questions, going beyond the angst of daily struggles.
How do I want to lead my life? how do I want to treat others?
The bigger questions lead me to the smaller, daily situations and encounters.
How do I want approach an extremely stressful situation or the complexity of a day where nothing is going right? Is this really as bad as I am telling myself it is? What can I choose for myself in this moment, as hard as it seems?
I'll tell you one thing: I have a lot yet to master..a lot. Sometimes that shift feels like turning a cargo ship 180 degrees. The complication of being human is not easy to navigate. It can be somewhat subdued with these questions and realigning how I want to show up. However, the real clarity and comfort comes from my faith. I am not necessarily talking about religion. I am talking about a faith in a better life, faith that there is meaning to all of this, and that there is a strong guiding presence and force that has helped me along, and is showing us the way, the path to benevolence. AND it's the faith that my actions count, my efforts matter greatly, and they make a difference even if it's just for one person.
Last week, the ATT guy showed up at our house, got his van stuck and spun his tires, digging deep trenches in our newly graded driveway. He then almost went off the side of the hill, almost crushed the drain pipe and almost took out some beautiful trees. I stood at the top of the drive, frozen, as I watched him continue to make it worse and started wondering how the heck we were going to pull him out. He eventually made the turn, with the help of our carpenter, then tried to patch it up with his feet saying "I'll fix it". I looked at him somewhat calmly (but probably sneering) and said "and how will you do that?" He said "with a shovel." I hid my smirk, knowing he didn't have one, and proceeded to walk inside, freaking out internally and called our builder in desperate tears. After leaving a message I decided to try and shift, calmed myself as best as I could, and remembered that nothing too horrible happened (just a lot of close calls). When he came in the house I decided to treat him like a guest, maybe even as a friend. I could tell he felt terrible and was being extra careful inside. We started talking and I learned a little about his life and he about mine. He then explained that the ground was pretty soft since we hadn't had much rain, so that could be why his van got stuck. I refrained from saying "yes or it could have been your crazy ass driving down the hill taking the turn too fast." In hindsight, I see that my reaction overall wasn't the best, but it also wasn't the worst. Mastering our lives is an ongoing journey, and we learn so much along the way. We learn how to balance caring/being meticulous with letting go, being calm without apathy or resignation, humility without self effacement, tolerance without indulging others, diligence without anxiety, and a strong will without obsession.
With Peace,
Anisha
September 2016 | The Autumn of Life, Letting Go
This time of year for me always signifies the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. Just like the trees prepare to let go of their old leaves, sometimes we too must learn how to let go so we can make room for what's next.
I taught my last Pangu yoga class in Raleigh and moved out of my acupuncture office last week, and it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time of year. I love what I've done in this city, and its hard to let go, but sometimes we have to walk away so that we can create something new. I told my students in class "I don't think of this as the end of something, but rather the expansion of something else."
Sometimes we walk away with the intention never to return again, and sometimes we walk away so we can regroup and come back to our goal or ambition with fresh perspective, creativity and inspiration.
I love my work. It's one of my passions and I don't ever want that to change. Though it's hard to deal with instability and unknowns, I also believe that a break every now and then is a VERY GOOD THING. Our obligations and commitments can threaten to turn into things we disdain. I once heard someone say "Everything you are carrying, you picked up." Sometimes we have to make room in our lives, for less. Yes, its a paradox. However, being untethered allows us freedom, spontaneity and room for inspiration. When I let go of expectation and let go of others' expectations to shape or frame what I'm trying to create then I don't have to commit to fulfilling those expectations. These are expectations I have created myself or people have manufactured [for me] on their own.
Do you have an obligation that you disdain? Ask yourself, why do I feel obligated to do this? Is there another opportunity to explore so I don't have to keep living up to someone else's expectation? How can I free up some of this time and reclaim my life?
For instance, maybe it's a job and you are obligated to your boss, and you feel there is really no other way. In that type of situation, the question is perhaps, "how much are you willing to let go in order to have what you want in other areas of your life"? Maybe you start looking for a lower paying job but you end up having more time for your relationships, creativity, health and contribution. Sometimes we have to give up one resource for another in order to live a life that's meaningful. And it’s not always safe, secure or comfortable. Sometimes it takes a unique idea, sometimes it takes bravery, and sometimes it just takes time.
What if you tried NOT to put a time limit on it? There is no guarantee when things will change or when you'll be ready to do something, or the timing will be right. The world is not a stable place, as much as we want it to be, so we can't always make decisions on a time table that we've manufactured. That alone takes so much pressure off, making room for enjoyment, unexpected opportunities, unforeseen chances to do something we love, or meeting someone who might change the trajectory of our whole lives.
We cannot deny the unpredictability of life. When we hold on too tightly to a plan we risk missing out on other things. Sometimes the best way is to let go of the idea that life has clear guidelines. As the leaves drift effortlessly to the earth, the promise of Spring is there, but we never know exactly when that will be. Instead, what if we choose to see the world as a place of infinite possibilities, being ever responsive to new circumstances and resolve to being the best human being we can be?
My sister sent me a quote recently and I loved it.
It may be that
When we no longer
Know what to do
We have come to our real work.
And when we no
Longer know
Which way to go
We have begun our real journey.
With Peace,
Anisha