March 2017 | Getting Back to Happy

Its Spring after all right? Well, at least for the Southeastern US. We've had beautiful days in the 60's lately and we should be buzzing like bees and glowing and growing like flowers!  It makes me wonder why we can't always be like those bees and flowers, bursting forth with their most radiant selves, reaching for the light and spreading rainbows of colors and happiness to others.

Well, I think it IS possible, when I realize that I am in 100% control of ME.  My decisions in each and every moment determine the quality of life that I live, and how I share that with others.  My aim is to be optimistic and calm, as often as possible.  However, when I can’t control what’s happening, I must challenge myself to GROW, to control the way I respond to what’s happening, to expand my container.  That’s where my power is!  I take a long deep breath and remind myself of the truth: “I choose my response, and that changes everything.” Then I have to use my most rational thinking and make a firm decision that I'm going to let go and move forward. (Its unlikely I'll be sweatin' any of this in a few weeks anyway).  I'm not saying it always happens naturally or automatically.  Sometimes I have to exercise a strong will, rise up from the inside and say, “I don’t care how hard this is.  I don’t care how disappointed I am.  I’m not going to let this get the best of me.  I choose to be different and change the patterns within.” And then I watch and observe, noticing cause and effect. The moment of pain or discomfort is worth the long term change and expansion I experience.

Worry is another great opposition to being like the bees.  It does nothing but steal our joy and keep us incredibly busy doing absolutely nothing worthwhile at all. That is one of the greatest struggles many of us deal with on a daily basis, myself included. The mind is our greatest battlefield.  It’s the place where the strongest conflict resides.  It’s where half of the things we thought were going to happen, never did happen.  It’s where our expectations always get the best of us.  It’s where we fall victim to trying to control the uncontrollable. And if we allow these thoughts and cravings to dwell in our minds, they will succeed in robbing us of peace, happiness, and ultimately our lives.  We will think and worry ourselves into deep heartache and even depression.

Truthfully, there’s so much about life that we can’t control, it makes no sense to waste all our energy on these things and then blatantly neglect everything we CAN control.

We can decide how we spend our time right now, whom we socialize with – whom we share our lives with and loving and appreciating them for exactly who they are.  And most importantly, we can choose how we’re going to respond to life’s surprises and disappointments when they arise, and whether we will see them as curses or opportunities for personal growth.

As we let go of all our worries about everything we can’t control, it frees us up to merrily take the next best step forward in our lives.

Bee Love,
Anisha

February 2017 | Love Yourself, Be Yourself, Give Yourself

Sometimes the hardest person in the world to love is the person staring back at you in the mirror, and often that's the person who needs your love the most. The part of us that needs to change is the part we keep beating on, but that's the part that needs love IN ORDER to change. Sometimes loving yourself means learning to laugh at your mistakes, rest your body when it's tired, to not lose your temper and end up losing valuable life force, to surround yourself with people and places where joy and peace overcome stress. Life is an adventure; you should be there for you each step of the way!  Sometimes love is strict, and sometimes it offers compassion, comfort and strength.

Truth be told, much unhappiness has come into the world because of the lack of self love, a lack of love for others and a general bewilderment towards miscommunication.
We know this. We know misunderstandings can tear us apart. We know healthier communication leads to healthier relationships. However, knowing something doesn't mean we take action. I've been sitting with this and contemplating that mysterious grey area between what we want to do, our intention...and actually DOING it. What happens in the in-between space?

Is it that we forget? Is it that something else becomes more important?
We forget to make time for ourselves and each other.
We forget to be present with ourselves and each other.
We forget to really listen. And we forget to be SINCERE and honest.
Day after day, we collectively misunderstand each other into hundreds of unnecessary headaches and heartbreaking mistakes.
And, like you, I’m only human – I still miscommunicate and misunderstand people, especially when I’m in a hurry.  Honestly, a combination of excessive busyness and poor communication leads to unnecessary conflicts.

So what's the solution? Give yourself space and time when possible. Give others space and time when possible. Here is a simple strategy I use to support the practice of paying better attention to the people in my life:  In summary, I proactively remind myself of the truths I already know but often forget.  Anytime I catch myself avoiding a conversation, feeling misunderstood or conflicted, I pause and read the following mantras to myself (I have them stored in the Notes on my iPhone now).  Then I find the time and space to tune in to this person with full presence…

1. One of the biggest problems in communication is the idea or belief that it has already happened.
2. Too often we don’t listen to understand – we listen to reply.  Don’t do this.  Focus.  Be curious.  When we listen with genuine curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply – we listen for what’s truly behind the words.
3. When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not really listening.  Listen to what you don’t want to hear too.  That’s how we grow stronger, together.
4. You never know what someone has been through today.  So don’t be lazy and make empty judgments about them or their situation.  Be kind.  Be teachable. Be a good friend.  Be a good neighbor.  Be a good listener.
5. Sometimes all a person needs is an empathetic ear – they just need to know someone else hears them.  Simply offering a listening ear and a kind heart for their suffering can be incredibly healing. 
6. Do not make assumptions unless you undoubtedly know the whole story.  If in doubt, ask the person directly until you have clarity.
7. When you take the time to actually listen, with humility and sincerity, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn.  Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be the people you love

What does it mean to have sincere conversations? To be honest? Sincerity is the basic foundation for having a strong, cultivated heart. But what does it mean? My understanding is that it means we neither underestimate nor overestimate ourselves.  We don't shrink or inflate ourselves, but try to communicate exactly between the two sides. This would be the truth. And in order to do that we must know what that middle road, what that truth, actually is. This takes a calm, open, humble, honest, diligent and present mind and spirit.

Your turn - let me know how are things are going! I'd love to know if these tips are helpful and if you see positive changes in your relationship with yourself and others. Hope to see you soon!

With Peace,
Anisha

January 2017 | The Winter of Life, Stillness and Reflection

Coming back to teach and see clients in Raleigh is so heartwarming as I build my new life in the mountains. There is, absolutely, a healing exchange, but it also feels like seeing old friends, maybe because you are. I've know some of you for almost a decade, and it takes time to build trust, understanding and love in any relationship. I value that with each of you and I wholeheartedly invite you and hope that you'll come to my neck of the woods (literally) this Spring so we can continue that relationship from the magical perspective of the mountains. (Keep scrolling to end for Spring Retreat details). I'll be returning in February to lead another Mini Retreat and I've also been asked to teach at Yoga Fest NC (Raleigh) again this year, so perhaps I'll see you on April 8. Last year was a very powerful experience with a group of 80 students practicing Pangu Yoga together!

The New Year and the winter months give us a chance to draw in, reflect, and harness our life force so we can truly let those creative and intuitive energies reveal themselves in springtime. Rather than filling up your schedule with busyness through the winter, can you instead allow yourself to slow down, recover from a hectic year, and plant the seeds for the year ahead?

What's next? What kind of person do I want to be? What gives my life meaning and how can I nourish those things?  On what do I need clarity and how can I get there?

What are my core values and how can I put them into action? How can I express my benevolent self in a more meaningful way?

We cannot answer these questions immediately. We must give ourselves the time they deserve, the time we deserve, so we can live the life we want. There is a deep power in these months that embody the water element ~ let yourself be in sync with the energy of water ~ allowing stillness and quiet, both on the inside and the outside. Having a vision means having the resolve to take action. However, in order for our visions to have power and momentum, we must know WHY they are our visions. We must have clarity on why we want what we want. Come mid January, sometimes our visions or resolutions can weaken or take a back seat because we are unclear on either what steps we need to take or the reasons behind them. Give yourself time, be patient and take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Step by step we gradually see the changes inside and out and, to quote my mother, "sometimes it even sneaks up on us", unexpectedly!

Happy New Year! May we BE what we hope to see on this planet 🌎

With Peace,
Anisha